nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
