ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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