Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
