I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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