Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
