a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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