Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
