so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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