Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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