Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
