I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's like iHOP with fire
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
