Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
