My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
