saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
