Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
