I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
