I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize