She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
