His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
