Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
