I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize