why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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