i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
