With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
