Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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