Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
