Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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