When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
