I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
