operation harelip BJ is a go
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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