I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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