He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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