I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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