I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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