..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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