Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
