I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
