Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
