My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
