My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize