Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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