Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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