For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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