You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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