Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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