Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
