Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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