I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pants are for mortals
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
