I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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