does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
