so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
