Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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