So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
