I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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