not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
