I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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