Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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