Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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