this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
