I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
