singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
