Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
