Can Purell be used as lube?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize